Q: I have heard so many horror stories about divorces, including how the lawyers act.  I have heard the courts are backed up, and everything takes too long and costs way too much. Is that simply the way it is?

— M.R., Lomita

A: I don’t handle family law cases so I am not on the front line. But I have heard many stories over the years, any number of which give me great pause. One question is whether there are some steps, or if there are some changes, that could be implemented such that the process was less difficult, less time-consuming and/or less costly. Some strongly suggest the parties mediate their divorce, and thereby hope to avoid undue combat between the lawyers and each other, if possible.

If mediation is not agreed upon, each side can still  take constructive steps to end the relationship without an overt amount of conflict. This means reaching a sensible, reasonably prompt conclusion on dividing up assets, who has what liabilities, and even child custody. Of course, a prenuptial or even post-nuptial agreement might help in this regard.

Human nature is such, however, that often enough when a relationship ends, it brings out some level (or a great deal of) animosity. One side may perceive the other is concealing assets. One spouse may have been more dependent on the other for financial support. And, there may be children involved.  No doubt you too have heard stories about the divorcees even fighting over who gets the family pet.

By law, California divorces are going to take no less than six months. The rationale for that six-month time frame has been that during the six months the parties might choose to reconcile. So,  what if divorces had to be completed in 120 days, unless there was an agreement to take longer (subject to court approval), or a real justification to extend that time frame? If there is less time to bicker, and more pressure to get things done, is there some chance that may help?

Q: Just what is the dissomaster?

— P.M., Long Beach

A: This is support calculation software utilized for many years in California. The computer program provides support guidelines, based for the most part on a party’s earnings, and amount of time with the children. It comes into play with spousal and child support.

Family law resources

The online self-help center of the California courts (www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp.htm) has excellent information about family law matters: divorce, separation, support issues, custody, how to adopt and property division, among other topics. As you go through the items, you can find your way to resources some courts have to try to assist in family law matters. In the search box, type “court resources, family law.” One item that will show up is about family law facilitators. Now, in California, one of the few areas of law that has certified specialists is in family law.

Bottom line: Your wisest course of action may well be to consult with or retain a family law specialist. I just want to point out to you some resources that may answer at least some of your questions, and alleviate some of your uncertainty about family law issues.

Ron Sokol is a Manhattan Beach attorney with more than 30 years of experience. His column appears on Wednesdays. Email questions and comments to him at RonSEsq@aol.com or write to him at Ask The Lawyer, Daily Breeze, 21250 Hawthorne Blvd., Suite 170, Torrance, CA 90503. This column is a summary of the law and not a substitute for legal consultation on any particular case.